Sojourning and Solacing seem to go hand in hand. Dwelling in a place that is home for a season and time has always been a part of my life. Home has never been lived in one place, and while roots are put down quickly, my heart is forever restless.
Moving from country to country, place to place, house to house. The preparing and packing, farewells and hellos, the settling and staying. And then doing it all over again!
The wall art that travels with me from home to home celebrates all the latitudes and longitudes of the seven countries I have lived in since marrying my American Guy. Combined with a couple more countries, these are the places that have shaped me into who I am today. I am proud of the list and the stories told there. For each one, it has been a crossroads to experience cultures, see the beauty of the world we live in, meet fantastic people, taste the most unique foods, and mark milestones in my faith journey.
Yet in landing and settling, there are so many moments of distress! Moments of not knowing what to do and who to even ask for help. Missing family and friends. And wondering where I can build community and belonging, and living with the ebb and flow of waves of loneliness.
There’s always a sense that, despite the privileges given to me as a resident, I will always be an alien, a foreigner. But the feeling of being one who can never blend is offset time and time again by community in each. The consolation of connections in times of calamity and celebration!
Through all of the moves and transitions, the hardest ones are the ones where I have stayed a while but wished it could have been forever (or at least a bit longer!) Countries and people that dig so deep in my heart that it hurts not to be there. Over and over again, nostalgia takes over. Focusing on the good and forgetting the bad! In those homesick moments, there’s a longing to go back to a time and place, to relive a life with those who have nomaded with me. But more often than not, the reality is that I stay a while, they stay a while, but never forever. Yet in the going of our separate ways, there’s a reassurance that I am not alone! There are people here and all over the world who understand this unpredictable, meaningful, challenging, and extraordinary life. And for that, I am grateful.
For those who wander, nomads without one place to call home, know there is more. In the affinity cycle of change and transition, one day, there will be no more unbelonging or longing for other places, lives, and experiences. Until then, my nest will be a quiet space to ponder, prepare, process, and pray. The place to remember, unpack, and untangle.
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